Ladies—5 Top Tips What Not To Do On A Date
The first date is an important night, with all of that new potential. We all want to believe in the fantasy of being swept off our feet by Prince Charming, if only I say! Yet there is reality. But don’t lose hope, we can still find that special person that leaves us with butterflies in our stomach and filled with excitement to see them again.
When it comes to dating, there is a certain dating etiquette that I have found to be important to be mindful of as a couple’s therapist. Remember, men and women are very different and there are certain dating no-no’s that will decrease the chances of getting you that second date and a healthy relationship.
Ladies, DO NOT
When a man compliments you DO NOT put yourself down. You are fabulous the way you are, you are a beautiful, confident woman in your own right that does not need to be validated by others. If you put yourself down, the first thing a man will think is that you need constant reassurance and that you are insecure —which is not attractive to men and puts them off. Would you want a man to put himself down? Instead, say thank you and take the compliment. Why wouldn’t you? You are fabulous the way you are.
DO NOT play mind games. Trust me, you will only end up getting hurt. If you are not looking for anything serious and all you want is fun, just be honest. In my 15 years as a couple’s therapist, it is my experience that someone always ends up getting hurt in these situations. Remember, not playing games does not mean you want to get married and have 5 children on your first date. Instead, why not be honest and let him know that you are open to a relationship if you connect with the right person? If you decide you do not want to see them again, be honest and let them know you did not feel a connection and politely thank them for the date. After all, if you’re re not looking for a relationship and just fun there are other ways of doing this, like Tinder!!!
When enquiring about what work the other person does DO NOT ask how much they earn. This is a surefire way to make the man think you are a ‘gold digger’. Instead, aim to identify how you connect with each other on a physical and intellectual level. Money will never fill the emotional void if you do not have common interests and don’t enjoy one another’s company, with no true connection it will be a very lonely relationship.
Another NO NO is to keep talking about past relationships! Talking about past relationships gives the impression that you are either not over them or are still feeling hurt and find it difficult to trust. This will indicate to a man that he has to prove himself before the relationship has even had a chance to begin. Instead, steer clear of this type of conversation and show him you are funny and interesting, a sure way to attract any man.