Men—5 Top Tips What Not To Do On a Date


First dates can be so nerve-wracking. All the expectations and not knowing what they are, the worry of what you should say and whether saying something for the sake of saying something will be misinterpreted as insensitivity or arrogance, which can then shut down the conversation and leave both parties feeling awkward! If it makes you feel any better, women feel exactly the same way!

If you have read my post regarding tips for women going on first dates, then you will realize it is a similar ethos for men as it is for women. Gentlemen, firstly you need to know how amazing of a catch you are and that you are a confident man in your own right, and that any woman would be lucky to get you. However, there are very clear differences between men and women; women are emotional beings and men are logical and rational beings. Sometimes this can be confusing for both parties in certain situations, especially in relationships.

As a relationship therapist, I’ve come to understand the importance of being aware of dating etiquette and to be mindful of common dating pitfalls.

Gentlemen, DO NOT

  1. Talk continuously about your job and who you work with, as this is a turn off on your first date with a woman. The woman will think you are only interested in talking about yourself and that you are being inconsiderate to them. Wouldn’t you be if it was the other way round? Instead, ask them what they like and share each other’s interest to get that connection going — making a woman laugh is a sure way to get them engaged. This will enable you both to see if you have any common ground.

  2. Be distracted by other women. It is natural to find other women attractive but you don’t have to be obvious about it. If a woman sees a man looking at other women in their company, they think they either are not interested or that you are a player. This gives a bad impression of yourself and you will be lucky to get a second date. Instead, be attentive to the person with whom you are on a date by making good eye contact and nodding, letting them know that you are listening to what they are talking about. Demonstrate being interested, I promise it will get you brownie points and get you that second date.

  3. Discuss ex-girlfriends, especially if you are still really good friends. This will lead to the woman thinking that you are not over your ex and that you are not ready for a relationship. Instead, make her feels special and the only person there. If you are genuinely not interested in them, then be open and let them know that you think they are lovely but you do not feel a connection in that way with them. This will earn you respect from them and avoid leaving a bad feeling or leading that person on. Remember, it is okay not to be attracted to another person.

AprilAnn-Marie Masson