Healthy Relationship Exercise


I am sure we will all have a different interpretation of what a ‘healthy relationship’ means. For some it will mean the need to feel safe and secure. This is a very broad sweeping statement and gives no real breakdown of what this really represents to each individual, as every experience is different and unique depending on what you have experienced growing up with your parent(s).

You may be amazed to know that if you have experienced an insecure home environment that this environment is what represents safety to you. Since insecure environments are the ‘norm’ for some— due to this being all the person has known as a child—they will replicate these experiences in adulthood within relationships, whether they are healthy or not.

Let’s just think about some of the key aspects of what makes a ‘healthy relationship.’ Write 10 qualities you would like to have in a relationship—even friendships. An example would be: communication, trust, etc.

Now that you have written down 10 qualities that you think are the key elements to what makes a ‘health relationship,’ take each key word and write a sentence or two next to it. It is one thing to come up with various words, but to instil our beliefs we need to define what we mean by each quality we seek from a relationship!


For example:

  1. Communication: being able to share information both practically and emotionally to gain an understanding where the other person is coming from.


Once you have done this exercise then think about the relationships you have had or are having in your life and ask yourself: are they healthy?

 This is a really good way to evaluate and test what your expectations are and if they are being met overall. You will not get every quality met in a relationship, but if you have more than 6 key areas not being met, you might need to question what you are gaining from this relationship. If you are getting most key areas met, then you are on to a winner!