According to the Office for National Statistics, 856,000 people have signed up to Universal Credit and Jobseekers Allowance, which is a surge of 69% in a single month. This is a much lower figure than it could have been; as the government’s furlough scheme has protected around 8 million jobs.
Other issues, alongside job losses, relating to the lockdown and Coronavirus are that homeschooling brings extra pressure to parents, which in turn 40% of people saying it negatively impacts their job and 50% say it has a major effect on their child’s well being.
What can you do to help your relationship during lockdown?
All of these issues will have an impact on a couple’s relationship during lockdown and some may be thinking that divorce is needed when the courts can reopen. However , the counselling directory have some recommended solutions.
- Take care of yourself.
The way to take care of yourself during this time, is to limit yourself when watching the news. The negativity and sadness can cause mood changes.
Don’t put too much pressure on yourself. If your are overwhelmed with working from home, keeping the house clean and look after dependents. Just allow your self to let it pass and know things will be ok.
- Plan what you do together
Plan your daily routines, to include a detailed structure to your day, having time apart and together.
- Listen to each other’s feelings
If one person in the relationship is feeling down or upset. Allow the other person to talk and be listened to. Try and help them overcome the issues that they may be having together in a constructive and methodical way. Remember it is ok not to be strong in these difficult times.
- Don’t defend yourself from your partners feelings.
They may be deflecting their own feelings of hurt on to you; as you are the closest person to them. Don’t defend yourself as this could cause eruption in the situation.
- Own your own feelings
If you feel angry about something, the feelings of anger are owned by you and not your partner. Don’t expect them to understand your feelings, as only you can do that.
- Be careful with your language.
Try not to criticize or exaggerate your feelings as this could be interpreted as attention seeking and could set to wind the other person up.
- Be creative by having date nights and doing other inventive activities,
During the lockdown, going out is restricted as restaurants, bar and pubs are closed. However, you could make your very own restaurant experience in your own home, to give the effect of going out.
- Create new rituals and routines together
Create a fun new routine as you both can have a new way to do things, that can be both fun and exciting. If you still have to schedule in work, create a new routine that does not involve going out.
- Appreciate each other
Tell each other nice things about each other, this will make your partner feel special and important. Putting the relationship at ease. It will also let them know that they are very important in your life.
- Communicate with each other
Communicate with each other what you want to do, negotiate if you both don’t agree on it. This communication will help you to understand each others plans so that you are both on the same page throughout the day.
- Touch each other
We feel less alone with touch. Touch releases hormones, making us feel better in the situation. It also makes the love stronger in your relationship. Frequently doing this will extend your relationship.
- Remember you chose your partner
Can you remember the time when you were really attracted to your partner; whether this was prior to the relationship or at the beginning, or even now. Remember this, when times become difficult and it will help rekindle your thoughts and feelings towards each other.
- Plan your future beyond the lockdown.
The lockdown will eventually be over, and it won’t last forever. No matter how you may be feeling. Start to plan things that you used to enjoy, prior to the lockdown like going on holiday or nights out to your favourite restaurant.
These solutions will help your relationship thrive during this difficult period and help each person to communicate and appreciate the other adult in the relationship.
What to do if you feel your relationship is at breaking point, due to financial issues?
If your relationship was not the strongest before the lockdown and the above methods are not working .It may be advisable to take advantage of the exercise measures that have been put in place or meet up with some friend’s to get some perspective whilst maintaining a social distance outside.
If the main issue in your relationship is financial, there are many charities and organisation’s that can help you.
Citizens Advice : They can help you with benefits, work, housing issues, rent payments, pensions and debt. Please click here (link) for further advice.
Payplan: This is a free-debt-management agency that will help you get your debts under control. They will go through your budget and talk to your creditors, on your behalf.
StepChange Debt Charity: This is a charity that can support you through your debt issues.
Gov.uk: Can offer you advice on money issues and advise if there are an schemes that you can join.
Each of these businesses will be able to offer some sort of financial support, however your mental health may be suffering, which is understandable
If these methods, still leave you feeling anxious or depressed in your relationship, please contact Ann-Marie at TLC Counselling, https://tlccounselling.co.uk who is a registered Counsellor and can give you a free telephone consultation as a couple, or individually.
Please call 07775918572 when you feel comfortable.