Losing a person after a relationship is difficult.This article will look at how to get over someone after a breakup. When a relationship ends for whatever reason. It can leave you feeling at a loose end and wondering why you allowed yourself to get close to that person. When this happens, it can take a while to process. In today’s digital world, it is becoming increasingly harder to move on and a lot of resistance is needed, to help you not fall in the trap of getting in touch with your ex again.
What happens to your brain when you break up : How do you get over someone?
When you break up with someone, for the first initial 6 months your brain treats the breakup like a physical injury. When feeling pain, the brain area – insula and the anterior cingulate and cortex all light up and when people look at their ex, the area lights up in the same way. However, some scientists disagree saying that these area’s light up because it is telling the brain, that it is important to you.
Also, another part of your brain, the ventral tegmental area (VTA), is the area of your brain that works as a reward system. In the early part of a relationship or after a relationship breakup, your brain acts in an obsessive, addictive nature. When you crave the person your brain releases dopamine, which is a reward hormone. This makes you feel happy, and you crave it more and more. Like the way that a drug addict craves drugs. Therefore, your brain tends to not let you forget and move on as quickly as you may like to.
The range of emotions, that you can feel, are like those of bereavement. These can be denial, anger, emptiness, and sadness. The strongest emotion that can linger on the longest is anger. However, you should try not to let this rule your life. Try different methods, to help you feel less angry. Emotions are what makes you human, allow yourself to feel the way you do, but put positivity measures in place, so that the anger does not rule your life.
What is the best way to get over someone when you break up?
When you first break up, with someone, your brain is telling you to try and get them back, due to the reward system so you feel happy. It is hard, but you need to get over them. There are other ways to release the happy hormones back into your body.
- Exercise – After you have finished an exercise routine, for approximately 30 minutes after exercise, your serotonin levels rise, and dopamine levels start to drop off. This was shown in a research group published in the Journal of Applied Physiology in October 2016.
- Keep your distance from each other – This will help you get over them and break any habits that may be disguising lust or love for that person.
- Remove them from your social media accounts – This will stop any desire to get back with them and stop you getting upset when they move on. If this is not possible, just try and resist looking at what they are posting repeatedly.
- Keep yourself busy – If you do something you enjoy, it will help you take your mind off them and days will pass, and you will begin not to miss them. Find a hobby and start doing it regularly.
- Hang out with Friends – Your friends can be good support around this time. They may help you realise that you had clouded judgement towards this person and help you move on to better things.
What if I feel that we could both work on the relationship?
For a relationship to work, both parties need to agree that the relationship could work. If you have just split up with your significant other, then the other person may not feel it is the best route to go. If you both feel that you would like another chance of the relationship, then relationship counselling may be an option for you.
Relationship Counselling can offer various solutions to help your relationship move forward. By communicating, in a safe environment with a trained counsellor. Together, you can hep overcome so of the issues that are affecting you both and come up with a mutual solution. Sometimes the way, you are communicating can have a big effect,
Or it could be something completely different, that needs to be resolved and talked over.Any issue that needs be to be resolved can be talked about confidentially.
What if the lockdown and Covid-19 is affecting our relationship?
Since the lockdown, Relate has seen an increase in couples questioning their relationships. Key findings show:
- 23% of couples surveyed felt that the pandemic put pressure on their relationship.
- Only 17% of couples, were having more sex than usual, due to the pandemic.
- 43% of people living with heir partner, has said it has brought them closer together.
- Money worries is an issue, causing couples to argue more.
How do I get in touch with someone to arrange relationship counselling?
TLC Counselling can offer a free initial telephone consultation to discuss the best route forward. Please call on 07775 918572 or use the contact form below. She aims to be back in touch with you, in 24 hour.